Review of "The Mummy's Tomb" (1942)

1940's "The Mummy's Hand" featured western actor Tom Tyler as the undead pile of bandages. Tyler (listed eighth in the credits of 'Hand') obviously wasn't being prepped to carry Universal's horror banner into the remainder of the decade. So after the success of "The Wolf Man", and much to his displeasure, Lon Chaney Jr. had to slouch through the gauze for a remarkable 'three' sequels--the remarkable part being that Universal could squeeze so much milk from this particular cash-cow.

Tomb opens with an ample amount of stock footage from 'Mummy's Hand' recapping the important events from that chapter. Seeing old footage in these mummy flicks is no big surprise--the fact that the filmmakers were not shy about reusing the close-ups of Tom Tyler (in makeup) as Kharis did puzzle me. Exactly how thin was the budget for 'Tomb' that some new close-up shots of Chaney as Kharis couldn't be cut into the picture?

George Zucco returns as high priest Andoheb, proving to be nearly as bulletproof as the mummy, having escaped the events of the last movie with 'only' a crushed arm & a full head of hair (maybe he rubbed some tana on his scalp). Also returning is what was already becoming a tedious plot device: The new priest put in charge of Kharis--apparently raging with suppressed libido--becomes enamored with some American skirt & usually suffers some violent (and well deserved) death.

However, it all speeds along at a quickie pace (all of Chaney's mummy pictures barely eclipse the 60 minute mark) and it's supplied with the usual atmosphere & mood music that at this stage of the game make it a good enough occupier of one's time. Of the quartet of Kharis films, 'Tomb' would be my favorite. It's certainly a more atmospheric piece than its predecessor and not bogged down with any of the inane comic relief.

Review of "Prometheus" (2012)

It is hard to say too much about Prometheus without spoiling it. First of all, those expecting to see the original Aliens are not seeing this movie for all the right reasons. Yes, it is part of the Alien universe and set before the first movie, but it doesn't feature those Aliens and instead tells a brand new story of merging the two worlds together.

With Ridley Scott back to directing, Prometheus used the similar setup of making researchers explore an alien world, only this time there is a longer setup and more suspense driven to events unfolding. The ship in this movie is very reminiscent of the one in Alien, although it is different in design and has some new interesting gadgets and pieces of technology we haven't seen before. There's no denying that there are things people will pick up relating to Alien, and I'm really glad they didn't tone down the violence for PG-13 rated audiences. Either way, you can watch Prometheus first before the other Alien movies.

On the acting side of things, I found Michael Fassbender's Android character David to be the standout for the movie. I also liked the protagonist Noomi Rapace and the supporting cast of Logan Marshall-Green, Charlize Theron, and Idris Elba. All strong performances, but perhaps if there's only one small complaint I could think of, is that maybe the supporting characters didn't get enough development time. Thankfully, Scott and the team keep the movie going at a very good pace with emotional depth at the right moments.

Overall, Prometheus on first viewing was what I expected, a movie using it's original base movie Alien as a structure to produce a new story with new characters/lifeforms to lead up to other Alien story lines. It is highly likely the references will become more obvious in sequels to this, but Prometheus manages to bring a story that works as a standalone but also a prequel at the same time, which is good for all viewing audiences, and I think Scott was trying to bring the grisly/dark atmosphere movies of Alien without being too in your face, which I thought was the right direction for this movie.

Review of "A Bug's Life" (1998)

(originally a response to a movie reviewer who said A Bug's Life was too much, too fast--he was "dazed and exhausted" by the visuals, and seemed to ignore the story completely)

Okay, first off, I'm 30 years old, have a full-time job, a wife and two girls... So maybe I'm nuts and just really good at hiding it...but not only did I NOT come away from A Bug's Life exhausted or dazed, it wasn't until I saw it the second time that I could even begin to truly appreciate the artistry and humour of the spectacular visuals--because the first time I went to see this movie, I got so wrapped up in the story and the characters that I forgot that I was supposed to be sitting there being "wowed" by each frame visually. How can you not empathize with Flik and his road-to-heck-paved-with-good-intentions life? "Heck" indeed, I found myself identifying with that little ant (not to mention some of the other bugs) in a lot more ways than one...and that, in itself, says more to me about what an incredible movie this is than a whole book. Of course, it's beautiful (every blade of grass, the tree, the rain...). Of course, what they can do with technology is amazing (you can read their lips! try it!). But this movie is not just a masterpiece of art and tech, not just an dazzling explosion of movement and color. No, A Bug's Life would be static if it were all that and no story. But, I'm glad to say, it's not!


 A Bug's Life has real heart. Yes, there's a lot going on, storyline-wise as well as visually, but that's because the story and characters actually have some depth to them! Just because it's a kids' movie doesn't mean you should have to turn off your brain at the theatre door--kids are smarter than you think! Besides that, I think that the PIXAR crew made this for themselves, even before their kids...and it shows, in the amount of heart in has. This movie is moving, touching, funny, intriguing, and generally engrossing. The character development in such an ensemble cast is amazing, there's a major amount of character growth, and not just of the main character--so rare in animation and often in movies in general. It doesn't hit you over the head with its points once it's made them--every scene, every frame has a reason in the storyline for being there, and there are no gratuitous shots. Not always stating explicitly in words exactly what is going on means subtlety, to me, folks; it means not "dumbing down" your movie and assuming the audience is stupid, which it mostly is not.


 All I can think is, if you can see A Bug's Life and not feel anything at all, then you must have never made a big mistake, hurt your friends, had a crush, fallen in love, been frustrated that no one would listen to you, lied to someone you care about, felt like a social misfit, gotten excited over a new idea, come up with a great idea, had what you thought was a great idea backfire, been awkward one moment and confident the next, felt the pressure of responsibility, stood up for yourself and your loved ones, stood alone against the crowd, felt like a failure, felt like a big success, felt the need to make a difference with your life in the lives of others...well, you get the point.


 Final words: A+ rating from me!  If you love Toy Story you'll most likely love this (PIXAR knows how to make movies with heart); if you do love it see it multiple times or you STILL won't know what you're missing (the amount of detail and subtlety here is considerable); and whenever you're feeling really low, just pretend it's a seed, okay?

Review of "Oliver & Company" (1988)

Curiously endearing Disney animated feature inspired by "Oliver Twist", transposing the Dickensian favorite fairly successfully to a modern-day New York setting - with the villainous Bill Sykes as a mobster (flanked by a couple of vicious mastiffs). Stylistically, it lies somewhere between LADY AND THE TRAMP (1955) and the adult-oriented films of Ralph Bakshi (without the sex and violence, naturally); as such, it stands oddly alongside the studio's usual fare from this rather lame era - and its vitality can now be seen to have foreshadowed the renaissance in quality (and critical appraisal) which they witnessed soon after, beginning with THE LITTLE MERMAID (1989). The anthropomorphic characters (which generally swamp the humans - Fagin is very much a good guy here, if still pitiful) are quite nicely fitted to class stereotypes: hence, we get a Hispanic chihauha (with an eye for the ladies) and a posh bulldog, among others, while Dodger is basically an updated version of Tramp and Oliver himself a cute but very brave kitten. The familiar and involved plot is all but jettisoned (especially in its second half) in favor of boisterous action and character comedy, with a bouncy score and rapid pace to match. In the end, it proved surprisingly good - and, at just 74 minutes, short enough not to overstay its welcome.

"Fright Night" (2011)

Remaining in the same vein as many recent horror outings, "Fright Night" is more of an eerie action comedy than a straight-out scare fest. Good. That's my favorite type, especially considering scares in and of themselves hardly garner a pull anymore. Also, with a title like "Fright Night," we have an understanding with the filmmakers that we're getting one of those throwback horror flicks. You know, the ones that gave the horror genre that fun movie-going reputation it had in the 80′s before tasteless gore and tiresome predictability defiled the genre? This film succeeds on that promise, quickly turning itself into the quintessential "fun" horror flick perfect for Friday night.

Styled after Alfred Hitchcock's "Rear Window" (which inspired its own modern retelling, "Disturbia") with a suave vampire living next-door instead of a mysterious stranger, this plot is very similar to its original. Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin; "Star Trek") is a ex-nerd who has joined 'the cool crowd,' dropping his oldest friend "Evil" Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse; "Kick-Ass") for a hot cheerleader girlfriend (Imogen Poots; "28 Weeks Later"). Things are looking oh-so-grand for the little flake (I mean, come on, any guy who hurtfully tells his friend "the day my life got better was the day I stopped hanging with you" is well a douche), he gets a new next-door neighbor that his mom (Toni Collette; "The Sixth Sense") takes a liking to: Jerry Dandrige (Colin Farrell; "Horrible Bosses"). Now Jerry seems like a cool guy, but as we all know, you don't cast Colin Farrell to be your average next-door neighbor. Ed's attempts to convince Charley that Jerry is actually a vampire fail, but when Ed himself goes missing and Jerry shows proof of what he is, Charley goes to the only person who might have the answer: Peter Vincent (David Tennant; "Doctor Who"), the Las Vegas magician who boasts of supernatural knowledge on how to kill vampires.

The choice to modernize the original 1985 "Fright Night" doesn't like that bright an idea considering the current rule that all horror remakes suck, but somehow this became a unique effort due to diligent actors, a reliable director, and successful laugh and scare gags. It is, without exaggeration, the first great entry in the long line of atrocious horror remakes. It takes what we liked about the original and comes up some clever changes that update the story 26 years to the present.

From an ingenious kill method at the end to wickedly suspenseful chase scenes, "Fright Night" boasts some surprisingly memorable scenes – some of which are incredibly suspenseful considering we think we should know what to expect from a vampire thriller. The opening is a startling 3D shot through dark thunderclouds that ends in an impeccably-executed family massacre. With Craig Gillespie's (the outstanding director of "Lars and the Real Girl") imaginative direction and Ramin Djawadi's (scorer of "Iron Man" and "Mr. Brooks") jarringly effective and wholly memorable musical score, the film hits all the beats it strives for with manic zeal.

The all-star cast deliver a gratifying romp of suspense and chuckles, but the movie belongs to its villain and its anti-hero, Colin Farrell and David Tennant. The rest give solid performances (especially Mintz-Plasse), but they pale compared to the main act.

Colin Farrell, when given the opportunity, revels in the grittiness of villainy whenever he can. For Jerry Dandrige, Farrell is at an all-time evil high and unchains his dark side. Part Hannibal Lector in his charming menace and part Buffalo Bill in his vicious brutality, Farrell carves himself a sweetly unpredictable part filled with great moments (from his menacing way of asking for a six-pack of beer to his ultimate way of overstepping house invitation rules to a great moment where his decision to do absolutely nothing produces far worse results).

The fascinating part about Jerry is he isn't like regular vampires. He seems more inspired by the worst of modern serial killers than mythical killing machines, with his secret torture rooms and closet full of dozens of uniforms signifying authority (from firemen to the post office to the police). He's modern without being "Twilight." He's a ominous hulking mass. Those characteristics mixed together with his bizarre personality create a rather unique Hollywood vampire. Due to this, I wish the "transformation" to full-on vampire face was never included, as it is poor CGI and takes away from Farrell's menace.

David Tennant, who I will admit I adore as the 10th Doctor Who, is a cinematic gem. His acting style has always been that of a Shakespearean extremist, and I can't think of a better role that has such obvious wicked glee in allowing him to let loose. There is something strangely mesmerizing in Tennant's scenes as the vulgar magician-turned-vampire-killer, especially in his first big scene where his vehemence and wide-eyed enthusiasm is outstandingly exaggerated. Also, seeing him acting with a giant shotgun is way more fun than I expected it to be. He's about as entertaining – if not more so – than the performance given by Roddy McDowall.

In the end, what really matters about this movie? Is the movie suspenseful and thrilling? Yes, especially when Jerry really is allowed to let loose his menacing charm and kill with the same love of general violence of a "Reservoir Dogs" character. Is the movie funny when it tries to be? Absolutely. The pop culture references – especially in a crack on "Twilight" and comparing Jerry to the shark from "Jaws" – work particularly well. This is a huge amount of fun. So if you walk into this expecting the right kind of movie, "Fright Night" is that perfect Friday night scare.

Review of "Cowboys & Aliens"

The answer to the obvious question hovering around Jon Favreau's latest action blockbuster is yes, "Cowboys & Aliens" is as ridiculous as the title sounds. Yet blame doesn't quite belong on Favreau's shoulders or that of star Daniel Craig or the rest of the cast; rather, the failure of this alien-infested Western results from the domino effect of the countless studios and producers who put their faith (and money) in a concept rather than a story.

To be fair, I know nothing of the Platinum Studios comic by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg, but it couldn't have been all that good if all the hottest screenwriters in Hollywood couldn't whip together a plot worth a damn. The duos behind "Iron Man" and "Star Trek" along with "Lost" writer Damon Lindelof all took cracks at the screenplay and an earlier treatment from another pair of "it" writers who wrote next month's "Conan the Barbarian" was discarded. Frankly, criticism of "Cowboys & Aliens" all stems from a story with lackluster characters equipped with cliché motivations. Despite some cool aliens, the action doesn't offer anything unique enough to counter that we've no reason to care.

Craig stars as Jake Lonergan, a stoic outlaw in Arizona sometime in the late 19th Century who wakes up with no memory and some metal device on his wrist. When he arrives in the town of Absolution, the sheriff discovers he's wanted and attempts to ship him off for a reward. That's when the aliens attack, bombing the town and roping up locals before flying off into the night. Lonergan's bracelet activates as a weapon and suddenly he's the only one capable of defeating these things. He joins a rescue party led by a grumpy Civil War vet named Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) and they all set off to find out what happened to their loved ones.

The script introduces characters willy-nilly and provides little satisfactory explanation for anything that happens. The story paints Lonergan as a quiet badass, but one who has flashes of some woman he loved. Because his past slowly unravels with nothing revelatory to show for it as the film wears on, it's tough to care much or even see him as capable of romantic feelings. Regardless, a woman named Ella (Olivia Wilde) keeps approaching him with questions he doesn't have the answers to and she evolves into a love interest for nothing but the sake of it. Sam Rockwell has little to no bearing on the film other than serving an example of an otherwise peaceful man who will do whatever it takes to get his wife back. He's a waste in the role. As for Ford, he just gets on screen and acts grumpy and impatient. We've seen everyone on board do so much better. Did these folks not read the script? Probably not considering the number of drafts alone.

Worst of all, the script thinks we will care; after all, this is "Cowboys & Frickin' Aliens!" In the final sequence, suddenly all these supporting characters have little moments together out of seemingly thin air. What are supposed to be moments in the story tying up relationship subplots between characters end up as reminders that these relationships and subplots even existed in the first place. Consequently, the film's pivotal moments result not in hearts beating, but eyes rolling.

In fairness, Favreau shows his adeptness from an action perspective once again in this film. The movie looks good if nothing else with strong visual effects and a strong concept team behind the aliens and related technology. The genre experiment generally works from a tonal perspective, an obstacle that certainly stood in Favreau's path. The film feels like a Western and one in which aliens could feasibly exist, so no problems due to identity crisis.

Yet the film never provides a single reason to justify why it had to be a story about cowboys and aliens. In that sense, the movie results in nothing more than several studios and producers thinking we'd simply be interested in a fusion of a shoot-em-up Western with an alien invasion. All involved failed to ask the one critical question when making a film based on a concept: "is there a good story here?" No, there's not. Despite every ounce of you wanting to find a reason to care about what happens, none arrives. As such, "Cowboys & Aliens" offers watchable but lifeless entertainment.

Quick Review of "The Lost Boys"

Given that I just found this gem for the grand total of $3 at our local Big Lots (the Collector's Ed. no less!), I figured I'd try my hand at a quick review:

There are many films about vampires, but one that is almost always remembered with a shy smile on the face is definitely "The Lost Boys". As one of the best remembered films of the 80s, this movie has become part of pop culture and a defining film for that period as it showcases most of what was cool or hip in that decade. While its status as "horror classic" has a lot to do with the nostalgic factor, it's an entertaining film on its own right and its modernization of the vampire myth along with its tongue in cheek humor still make for a charming and funny session of pure mindless entertainment.

The movie begins with Lucy Emerson (Dianne Wiest) as she moves to Santa Clara, California, with her two teenager sons, Michael (Jason Patric) and Sam (Corey Haim) after a bitter divorce. In Santa Clara, Michael becomes involved with a local gang of bikers who have a dark and mysterious secret while Sam becomes friends with two weird boys who claim that the town is being invaded by vampires and its their mission to get rid of them. As Michael begins to act strange, Sam suspects that his brother has become one of the undead and begins to take his friends seriously.

Directed by Joel Schumacher, "The Lost Boys" is a movie that effectively combines a cool and attractive look with a simple but entertaining plot resulting in a successful and charming film. The story modernizes classic elements of the vampire myth and adapts it to its time with intelligence and definitely tongue in cheek humor. In fact, this self-aware comedy approach is what makes the film enjoyable, and it relies more on fun and laughs than in actual scares. The plot is rather simple, and lacks some character development, but it makes an interesting (although also quite simplistic) analogy between the troubles of youth and becoming a vampire.

Visually the movie looks great, although by now it has that dated nostalgic look of a past decade. Still, the flamboyant visual composition fits perfectly in the film's time and context and it is one of the films biggest assets. Schumacher's fluid and energetic camera-work makes the movie flow at with a nice rhythm and the movie never becomes dull or boring.

The cast is very effective and everyone makes a great job. Corey Haim is remarkably good and while he may not be a good actor, in this film he is perfect for the role of Sam. Jason Patric is less lucky and he is overshadowed by the very talented Kiefer Sutherland, who steals every scene with his charm and presence. Jami Gertz gives a somewhat forgettable performance but veterans Dianne Wiest and Edward Herrmann are both excellent in their roles and have some funny lines.

"The Lost Boys" suffers a lot from its own self-referential nature, it looks old and severely dated by now even when it's 20 years ago when it was released for the first time. The cleverly written plot is very entertaining, but somehow the lack of character development and the comedy take on the story make it to never reach its full potential. The premise is quite interesting but the "Lost Boys" theme is never fully explored leaving at a nice but a bit shallow experience.

Definitely most of the charm of "The Lost Boys" is due to nostalgia, as the movie is now basically a time capsule of the 80s. However, it is hard to deny that despite being what one would call a "popcorn movie", in its time it was an intelligent, original and fresh take on vampires. While it may not be a landmark of horror of a life-changing experience, "The Lost Boys" is one of those films that will definitely deliver what they promise: a healthy dose of mindless entertainment.

Advice to Young Men

There are many things I wish someone would have told me when I was still a young man.  I know some of you are about to say I still am a young man, but bear with me...  As I shared in a previous post,   I have faced some pretty big challenges throughout my life thus far, and there were many times where I wished someone would have thrown me a life raft along the way, said some advice, given some support, etc etc.    To be quite frank, knowing this has been keeping me awake most nights.

For this reason, I have written the following letter. This would be what I would tell any young man entering college, or of "college-age."

It is always good getting to catch up with you this past week. However, thinking back over what I said, I think I came up terribly short. As usual, I could always blame the brevity of my conversation to the fact I am busy, that I have a family, or that my responsibilities with work were getting the best of me. The problem is, if I said that, I'd be just like most other men in America; making excuses for coming up short.


The truth is, I was more concerned with sounding good than saying something good. I believe in you too much to simply tell you to choose maturity throughout life. In the next few years, you will go through such a shaping season of your life. I have watched good men make decisions during this time that would alter their life dramatically.  That being said, here are a few points I hope to pass along:

Pornography kills marriages.  This is serious. I've sat across many tables with college guys in tears because they were addicted to looking at naked women on computer screens. They knew they hated looking at it, but sin's web was tightly constricting them. Remember that this isn't just about keeping your eyes pure. It is also about not setting your wife up to fail. What these guys look at on computers is not real. It is a sick fantasy. The producers of porn take air-brushed, plastic women, and have them act like they have the sex drive of men.

Men arrive in marriage with unreal expectations, and the damage done takes years to unravel.

Men need friends. You need good, solid guys that can lock arms with you and walk life next to you. In college many guys start living life "around" other guys, but never with them. I would encourage you to find some guys that want to honor God with their lives. Seek to know them, and allow them to know you. As you get older, this becomes even more difficult, so learn early how critical this really is.

God's grace is deep. Some of my most profound realizations about the goodness of God came while I was in college. Growing up, I didn't have the slightest desire to truly finish anything I started.  Why do you think I bounced around between so many jobs after I got out "on my own?" Given the decision, I would have picked doing something fun and active as opposed to anything that involved copious amounts of study. Yet, after I became a Christian, this changed.

Take advantage of your college years to dive deep in God's Word. Study it. Reflect on it. Memorize it. Ask someone to teach it to you. You are a good man, raised in a great family. Yet, you have so much to learn about the depths of the riches of God's love. Don't miss this opportunity.

Don't focus so much on "living your life" that you miss an education.  I can definitely guarantee you that studying hard and trying to excel is important, but don't put in on a throne it doesn't belong.  I have a few friends of mine who I've watched sadly do this exact thing.  They've literally become robots.  For all intents and purposes, their wives are basically single parents.  I just pray that this doesn't happen in your home as well.

Take advantage of opportunities to "cut your teeth" leading. Go on mission trips where you can learn that God doesn't just speak English. Look at other cultures to understand what real poverty looks like. When you get to be my ripe old age, all these experiences will have shaped you in ways you can't even begin to imagine.

Above all else:  All across this world, but definitely starting with you, in your home with your family, there is a desperate need for leadership that is Spirit-led.  Believe me when I tell you that this world needs men who are under the authority of the Lord Jesus. Be purposeful in stopping to place your heart under His. Great leadership doesn't come from "technique-ing" people. It comes from wisdom and discernment that is God-given. So go to Him, and ask.  He'll give it.

If I haven't told you recently, I believe in you.  I'm proud of how far you've come.  I look forward to watching God's shaping hand on your life. E-mail me, text me, call me; shoot, you can even come sit on my couch anytime if you'd like to discuss this further.  I will always be here for you.  More importantly, so will Jesus.

Walk in great grace, and speak with great power (Acts 4:33).  

Arthur

Now I think I can sleep better knowing I got that off my chest.

Ten Things Nobody Tells You about Being a Dad

Before I became a dad, I thought I would be a pretty good dad. After all I grew up in a nice, Christian home, I read a few parenting books, and heard quite a few messages on biblical parenting. So I was set. The children I would raise would be fortunate to have me as their father. 

Then, a funny thing happened. I actually became a father for the first time. First came Abagail Grace, then Emma Rose.  I'm now a father of two and I know much less about parenting than I did before I became a parent. I've realized that there are certain things about fatherhood you can only learn after you actually become a Dad. 

Here are ten: 

1) You are much less patient than you think you are. Oh, you think you're a loving, patient, sweet peach of man. You'll be the guy playing catch for hours and carefully instructing your son how to ride his bike. You'll never get short with your kids and you'll always know the perfect balance between discipline and love. Right. Keep dreaming, my friend. There's nothing like a live child in your midst to bring out your selfishness, anger, and impatience. 

2) Many times you'll have no clue what to do. But you still have to pretend you are in control. Like when your three-year old melts down the grocery store. The books say to do one thing, but there is a certain paralysis that takes place when it's your little child kicking, screaming, and not getting along with the shopping program. Over time, you'll figure out your child and the best method, but there will be a lot of trial and error along the way. Mostly error. 

3) You'll realize that minivans are secretly awesome. Before I had kids I swore on a stack of John Wayne collector's edition DVDs that I would never be seen behind the wheel of a minivan. Then we had our 2nd child and I suddenly saw the awesomeness of minivans. I now have two children and the Chrysler Town and  Country keeps getting cooler. You can go for long trips and play DVDs. You can fold the seats down into the floor and haul large pieces of furniture that your wife thinks you need. Trust me on this one. As soon as kid #2 comes, you'll find yourself wandering over to Cars.com to compare the best prices on minivans. 

4) You'll probably not get six continuous hours of good sleep ever again. And if you do, you'll never admit it because it will make your wife mad for the broken-up sleep she got when she got up and took care of the teething child. Dads perfect the art of pretending like they are stone-cold sleepers who can't be easily woke. But really you're just trying to do it long enough so she'll get up and take care of the situation. 

5) There are singular moments of joy so indescribable they can only be experienced. There are moments of pride and joy that make every single hard parenting experience seem easy. There are times of closeness and love that will make your heart burst with rapture. Sometimes I just sit back and look at my two children and cannot believe God allowed me to be their dad. If you're a dad, you know what I mean. 

6) Your presence is more important than you know. You may not think you're a good dad. You may not think you're all that useful around the house. But your kids need your presence more than you know. God wove fatherhood into the fabric of humanity. Your consistency and faithfulness to your wife and to your children will speak volumes to your children about the consistency and faithfulness of their Heavenly Father. 

7) You need to repeat the same words over and over to your children. It's not enough to be a model Christian. It's not  enough to provide and be present. Your kids must hear over and over again how much you love and accept them. I try every single day to tell each one of my children that I love them. There have been times I've flippantly said something to my oldest daughter and it crushed her feelings. I've had to apologize and seek forgiveness. My words matter to her.

8) You will watch less of your favorite games, play less video games, and will go out with your guy friends hardly at all. But this is good. You are called to serve your family sacrificially. This often means putting your selfish desires last. This means not whining. This means being strong when you want to be tired. This means being the brave one when everyone is scared. But if you see your kids as your God-given mission, you will gladly give up these things for something better. Your sacrifice and your presence is not an option. 

9) You will embrace your cluelessness as a gift from God. The further you go into your fatherhood, the more you realize you need help being a good dad. You really don't have what it takes. This is where you lean in, heavily, on your Heavenly Father. The sooner we realize, as dads, that we don't have what it takes to succeed, the sooner we'll seek His help, both through His Word, His Spirit, and from earthly fathers who can lend wisdom. I've learned much from a program our church did called Men's Fraternity. I've learned much from other dads in my church. I've learned a lot from older dads who have gone before. 

10) You will realize your ongoing need to repent, confess, apologize, and forgive. You will mess up, almost daily. And so you will need to admit to your children your mistakes and ask their forgiveness. You will learn the underrated value of an apology, how quickly it earns you respect and attention. You will have to forgive your children for their sins. You will need to practice these with your wife. In doing so, you will model to your children what the Christian life looks like. It's not a life of perfection, but of brokenness, surrender, and grace. 

Dads, Your Career Is a Means, Not an End!

[Note: The following is an excerpt of What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him, by Byron Yawn (Harvest House Publishers, 2012). Used by permission.] 

What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? For what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mark 8:36-37

There are specific moments with every man when he looks around at his life and observes who he's become, or begins to wonder at what could have been. It's a box of pictures formerly hidden by clutter pulled from a closet. An hour passes. Tears are shed. It's okay. You're not crazy. I won't tell. It's normal to reflect upon the significance of one's life. Especially those that span decades. Things accumulate—family, children, careers, etc. Time flies. Babies grow up. It's healthy to think deeply about who you are and what you've accomplished. We should do it more often. A survey at the midway point of a legacy can reveal much about a man. Good and bad.

We're All Doomed! How's My Hair?

In more intense forms this type of introspection goes by its more popular name—a mid-life crisis. A man approaches the hazy midpoint of his life and is struck by the speed of time. He starts counting his remaining years on his fingers and panics. Some buy Harleys. Some get hair implants. Some make life- and family-altering mistakes. The shock can be overwhelming. There's no rewind button. There's no going back. "We're all doomed!" Take it from me—it passes. Get back to life. Besides, the minivan is more logical.

There are some men, however, whose entire life is a mid-life crisis. Such a man is caught in the constant cycle of reinventing and restarting. There's a search for purpose that takes him through several iterations of himself. It's the assumption that a different situation, position, or endeavor will bring the life he desires. Stops and starts. The vestiges of "great ideas" are all around. You get the distinct feeling he dislikes himself as much as he envies others. It's a secret regret. His wife—who serves him as a life coach—doesn't understand it, but she lends her support. She loves her husband no matter what he does. But this does not seem to help matters. He spends his entire life living up to some mysterious standard set on him somewhere in the past. The discontent is palpable. You hurt for him.

His work and career serve only to remind him of time wasted, missed opportunities, and the inability to be something he's not. It's a ceiling on life. He's certainly not where he saw himself being. Obviously, we all have seasons when we struggle with the tedium of jobs. Even those who enjoy what they do. But his issue is different. There's a naïve assumption that being who he wished he were, or having the dream job, would solve the restlessness in his soul. Even when he does get the change of employment or promotion he eventually falls back into discontent. His enthusiasm fades. Someone needs to tell him the real problem was not in a box of pictures.

I Need to Get This

Then there's the exact opposite creature. He's defined by his career. He doesn't languish in what he does. He thrives in it. He's good at it. You've seen him. As you stand in front of him, he has his left index finger on his Bluetooth earpiece and his other hand (palm out) in your face as he closes the next deal. He mouths, "Just one second. I need to get this." He is a career. You see him in church and say to yourself, "There's that salesman." Not "There's Jim." Or "There's Bob." What lies in his wake is not missed opportunity (like the first fella), but his family. He's got everything the first man thinks he needs, but at a steep price.

His wife and he come to see me. Sitting in front of me during counseling, their back-and-forth may be the most frequent conundrum upper middle-class couples find themselves in. They went and got their priorities caught in success. She says, "I only want him to be home more often. When he's home I want him to leave work at work." Her confident estimation of the real problem comes with a smug look. She adjusts her tennis bracelet in anticipation of his answer. "I do what I do so you can have the life you have." He rolls his eyes upward, then looks at me. "There's no winning. You see what I have to live with?" I never answer that question. Abruptly, his finger rises to his earpiece. "Sorry. Hold on. I need to get this." She rolls her eyes back. I hurt for them. I think fondly of my wife and kids.

Too many men are identified by their careers, or lack thereof. Some flail about looking for one that will give them meaning. It won't. Others, over time, become better salesmen than they are fathers or husbands. They know their clients more intimately than they know their wife and kids. In each case, there's an imbalance.

Forgetting What We're Doing
While Doing What We Must

What most men never come to realize, or are never told, or forget, is that they already possess a calling and purpose. One that surpasses the specific industry they're in or job they have. It's given to them by God, their creator. It is tied to who they are as men and not the particular thing they do. There are priorities that God has called them to, responsibilities that are inherent in their persons, passions imbedded in their masculinity, and commitments intrinsic to their roles as men. There's no need to search for these. They're built-in. These are larger than specific careers. Awareness of these greater realities gives the day-to-day its more sustainable meaning.

Point is, we forget what we're actually doing while doing what we have to. What is work anyway? It's not who I am. I may be a salesman, doctor, or teacher, but that is just a means to an end. It's what I do. Who I am is a husband and dad saved by grace. One simply provides the opportunity to do the other. When we confuse the means and the end we inevitably fall off one of these two edges—a want of meaning or a misplaced identity. If my greater desire is to be successful rather than faithful, I'm in trouble. It's the greater reality that keeps the other in proper perspective. As a man, you have to be gripped by the greater to survive the latter. You must keep the means and end separate.

I absolutely love being a dad. Maybe it's my particular context that makes me so intense about it. Maybe it's not abnormal to think this way. Maybe it's the way it should be. Maybe it's the way all real dads feel. Regardless, I love it. In no way am I a perfect dad. I'm still learning and adjusting. It's challenging. After all, I have a teenage daughter—the equivalent of solving a Rubik's Cube in pitch-black darkness during a typhoon. Seriously, I don't get it. But even this I love. The responsibility of being a guiding force in my kids' lives overwhelms me.

Every day I live I'm thinking of them. Praying for them. I know them and fear for them. It's a dark world out there. More than once, like many other dads, I have been found on my knees next to their beds weeping for their souls and praying for their futures.

Men are created to be on their knees beside the lives of their wife and kids. It's part of God's design. Other creatures (wives and children) are designed to depend upon this trait in us. It's imbedded in our makeup, part of the structure of the relationship between husband and wife and an important part of how we bring glory to God as men. It's not simply finances and material resources we provide. What we supply is much greater than these things. We offer hope, trust, love, stability, guidance, service, and all those intangibles that come with our roles as fathers and husbands. And these are the realities that give our lives more meaning than careers ever could.

I Think They Got It

The other night my sons attended a professional hockey game. It was a guys' night out sponsored by their school. The headmaster, several of the male teachers, and other dads escorted a group of elementary-aged boys to the game. Such madness. God bless them for doing it. After they returned home my youngest son was visibly disturbed. I could see it. He had met a new friend. At some point during the game my son's new friend disclosed his family situation. It was not good. His father was gone. He did not have one. As my son put it, "His dad did not want him and left. He is now remarried and has three other children. He never sees him."

My son, who is eight, could not make this make sense. With a very innocent level of clarity he understood the injustice. It was deeply distressing to him. "How could a dad do that?" Unfortunately, there's not an easy answer. Unfortunately, it's far too common a scenario.

In that moment I think my sons, both of them, at least for that moment, got it—how blessed they are to have a dad. (Not perfect, but present. Not perfect, but engaged.) Their reaction to this young man was similar to my mom's reaction to her own lonely little boy so many years ago. It's a hard reality to deal with.

The response in my son was love and warmth toward his own dad. He clung to me. Later he asked if he could sleep in his big brother's room in the lower bunk. It was as if he prized more highly and was drawn into more closely the bond of family and brotherhood. (It could also be that he used the situation to manipulate his dad. But that is beside the point.) He asked if we could pray for this young man. So there we were; dad, mom, brother and son, on our knees praying for the unique presence of a heavenly Father in this kid's life. We gave thanks for our own family and closed. I did my usual round of hugs and kisses and then walked out with tears in my eyes. That is what I live for as a dad. It's who I am. I get to be there for these boys. No one has to pity them, or cry over them as statistics.

If you took me back in time thirty minutes from that moment on my knees with my family and told me what was about to occur—how God would bless me with some of the most sincere love a man could ever experience, how I would have a chance to leave an indelible mark on my son's tender heart—if you took me back and offered me ten million dollars to miss it, I would turn you down every time. Because there are things more valuable than money and careers. Truly priceless. There are a thousand little priceless moments all around us. You only have to pay attention. You only have to love the looking. Your ability to be there in those moments has nothing to do with your career, or lack thereof. Your children never see that stuff anyway.

 You're just their Dad.

[Taken from chapter 17 of What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him, by Byron Yawn (Harvest House Publishers, 2012). Used by permission.] 

10 Things Christians Might Consider in this Political Season

So now the primaries are officially over and we have a contest between President Obama and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney for the Presidency of the United States. Inevitably, American Christians will fall on one side or the other in what will likely be a long, divisive, tough campaign to the end. So, how should we as followers of Christ act during election season? This isn't the last word and it isn't an exhaustive list, but here are a few things we might consider:

1) Remember to be grateful for the election. As Americans, we live in a representative republic, so we have the rare opportunity to shape our government. Partisanship and politics can be wearying and noisy and half-crazy at times, but at least we have the freedom to express ourselves and to vote. This isn't happening in most countries around the world. So just at the point when you're tired of looking at political signs and a bit weary of the sloganeering, remember those dissidents who sit in jail cells around the world, merely for having an opposing thought. We have a stewardship to vote, granted by God, and we should use it responsibly.

2) Don't put your trust in chariots. Be grateful for the opportunity to elect the president you feel will best lead our country. But don't fall into the trap that everything in history and in your life depends on one rainy Tuesday in November. Don't be a practical atheist, white-knuckling election night, sweating every ebb and flow of the season, and acting as if you need to build a fortified bunker if "the wrong guy wins." Advocate and work for your guy, but put your trust in the Lord. God holds history in the palm of his hand and is not at all worried sick about which party controls the levers of power in America.

3) Ignore most of the political appeals you hear from both sides. To win in modern American politics, you have to paint the other guy as something a combination of an axe murder, a village idiot, and a helpless puppet. You have to dig for an scent of scandal, blow it up in an ominous, black-and white ad, and convince people that if this guy wins you might as well move to Canada. Both sides will do this. But the truth is somewhere in between. It is a good idea to periodically tune out the election news during election season, toss those pesky mailers, and hang up your phone when you hear the gravel-voiced narrator begin his robo-calls of doom.

4) Advocate issues, avoid the petty stuff. It's amazing how easily campaigns delve into petty stuff like how many vacations the President takes, the color of the First Lady's dress, and the habits of the candidates while in high school. Vote for a guy because he holds positions closest to yours. Advocate issues of importance and weight. Resist being drug into the gutter and arguing for or against issues that have little or no consequence.

5) Avoid the "ends-justifies-the-means" of politics. When President Bush was in office the left smeared him unfairly, comparing him to Hitler and tarring him as a war criminal. This was unfair. So now that President Obama is in office, many on the Right feel what was good for one side is good for the other. "All is fair in love and war," we say. This is true ... unless you happen to be a follower of Christ and you're commanded, repeatedly, to measure your words, to be kind, to love, to speak truth. Remember that even in politics, you are to act and talk like a Christian.

6) Don't let your political differences ruin friendships. It is easy to allow political differences to drive a wedge in important friendships. But we must prize our love for our brothers and sisters in the Lord and our friendships with those outside the faith, above the strong opinions we hold. That doesn't mean we back down, it means we find a way to get along with people with whom we disagree. Friendships within and without the church are vital for gospel ministry. Don't let the temporal of politics get in the way of the eternal.

7) Don't fall for conspiracy theories. Don't forward emails that are less than true or haven't been verified by reputable sources. Its easy to want to believe the worst about our political enemies, but God calls us to believe the truth (1 Corinthians 13; Philippians 4:8). Don't post on Facebook or Twitter questionable stories or theories. As Christians we should be about truth.

8) Don't allow politics to convince you to hate those whom Jesus has called you to love. Politics likes to divide things up nicely into good guys and bad guys, to see the "other side" as the enemy. If you read enough political blogs and listen to talk radio and watch enough cable news, you will soon develop a mentality that sees only those who agree with you as good people and the rest as enemies. Furthermore, it clouds the real battle. We're told in Scripture that people are not the enemy, Satan is. And our fight is never against mere mortals, but part of a larger, worldwide spiritual conflict (Ephesians 6:2). Plus, if you convince yourself to hate certain segments, how then can you lovingly reach them with the good news of the Gospel?

9) Avoid the "out there" mentality. The weakness of political engagement is that it lends itself away from self-reflection. The partisan mind constantly thinks all the worst problems in the world are "out there." The gospel, however, forces us into sober self-reflection. It reminds us that the real problem is inside, in our own depraved hearts. The Apostle Paul, who lived under the oppression of a wicked and tyrannical government, said "I am the chief of sinners." He didn't point to Nero. He said, "No, I'm the biggest problem." It's easy to blame Hollywood, Wall Street, and the media for all of our woes, but if we were honest and allowed the gospel to penetrate our hearts, we'd realize that we are our own worst enemies.

10) Look for a better city. Politics is driven by a God-given longing for utopia, a desire for perfection, by the dawning reality that life on this earth is not how it should be. Politicians come along and promise to fix things, to build that utopian dream we all desire. The problem is that politicians are flawed. They are not saviors. And this world is cursed by sin. So like Abraham, we must look for another city, whose "builder and maker is God" (Hebrews 11:1). One day Christ will return as reigning King and will set up the ultimate, perfect Kingdom.

How to Pay a Woman a Compliment

(The following is adapted from a good source; namely, Chris Legg.  I've thrown in some extra tidbits of my own for good measure!  May it bless you guys!)

Compliments

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” Sophia Loren – Women and Beauty

Guidelines

1. Use details – women communicate in subtle ways, so the more specific the compliment, the better. In other words, the greatest compliment to you might be “Hey, you look great!” It wouldn’t be the best for her. Instead, comment on her scent, her earrings, or her eye shadow.

I used to keep a sticky note above my visor when I was dating Christine (my wife) that had written on it “earrings, lipstick, shoes, toenails.” Then when I saw her I would sometimes remember to do a quick scan of those kinds of details and then compliment one of them. Do this with non-physical compliments too. “Wow, I was so impressed when you knew that answer – I had no idea!” Watch, listen, notice, compliment. Be frequent – women are often not very “constant” in their assumption of your love, belief in them, and attraction to them.

As Shaunti Feldhahn (whose marriage books are just about the best out today, in my opinion) notes in chapter 1 of For Men Only, when you say “I do” your wife quickly begins to wonder “Do you?” (I am not kidding, men, get this book and read it if you haven’t.) “But,” you ask, “if I compliment her too often, won’t she get used to them and stop really hearing them?” I answer: “Yes, and you should be proud when that happens. God forbid that our wives not think of compliments about her beauty, poise, elegance (use these, for example), mystery, intelligence, and attractiveness as a given from us!”

2. Read to understand -- Women often write books. Even more often, experts of all kinds write books and then our wives read them. Often, they read them, highlight sections, underline passages, dog-ear pages, and then give them to us as a gift. I know we aren’t always the most insightful gender in the world, but you would think that even we would catch this hint. If you haven’t, begin to read all those marriage books that she bought hoping that you would read. Comment and ask questions on what she has marked, or better yet, just apply them. She will take this as a compliment. Often, the greatest compliment she can get from you is to be given by you the power to influence your thinking. This is why “listening” falls into this category too. “But Art, I am really not a reader,” you say. I don’t really hate to be blunt about this, but I will fake it to make it...sorry guys, looks like it's time to put on your big girl panties and start reading. If you just cannot read at all, buy an audio book or download an audio stream online.

Do you need a list? Ok, I will post that too, if I haven’t already. Remind me if I forget. By the way, these apply to more than just your wife. Your daughters, and to the degree it is appropriate, other women in your life need compliments from Godly men too. This next one, however, if for your wife only:

3. Don’t just compliment her sexual parts (NEVER compliment another woman’s sexual parts at all) -- I agree that my wife’s breasts are one of the best examples of God’s unlimited artistry, and the female form is stunning in its beauty … and notice that I didn’t say NOT to compliment her sexual parts – she usually really appreciates that too, if in the right setting and company – but don’t get in the habit of only paying attention to only those parts (yes, this means touching too, but I will explain that more in a future post).

I know that you see her as one whole package, but she probably doesn’t. She probably divides out her sexuality from the rest of her identity. When you compliment her sexually, you think you are targeting what matters most, but she may think you aren’t mentioning her at all! Ok, these are some quick and simple guidelines – so let’s get out there are start complimenting our women! Maybe someday they can learn to see themselves as the wondrous treasure that they are eternally in God’s eyes … or at the very least they will believe that we see them that way!