There are many things I wish someone would have told me when I was still a young man. I know some of you are about to say I still am a young man, but bear with me... As I shared in a previous post, I have faced some pretty big challenges throughout my life thus far, and there were many times where I wished someone would have thrown me a life raft along the way, said some advice, given some support, etc etc. To be quite frank, knowing this has been keeping me awake most nights.
For this reason, I have written the following letter. This would be what I would tell any young man entering college, or of "college-age."
It is always good getting to catch up with you this past week. However, thinking back over what I said, I think I came up terribly short. As usual, I could always blame the brevity of my conversation to the fact I am busy, that I have a family, or that my responsibilities with work were getting the best of me. The problem is, if I said that, I'd be just like most other men in America; making excuses for coming up short.
The truth is, I was more concerned with sounding good than saying something good. I believe in you too much to simply tell you to choose maturity throughout life. In the next few years, you will go through such a shaping season of your life. I have watched good men make decisions during this time that would alter their life dramatically. That being said, here are a few points I hope to pass along:
Pornography kills marriages. This is serious. I've sat across many tables with college guys in tears because they were addicted to looking at naked women on computer screens. They knew they hated looking at it, but sin's web was tightly constricting them. Remember that this isn't just about keeping your eyes pure. It is also about not setting your wife up to fail. What these guys look at on computers is not real. It is a sick fantasy. The producers of porn take air-brushed, plastic women, and have them act like they have the sex drive of men.
Men arrive in marriage with unreal expectations, and the damage done takes years to unravel.
Men need friends. You need good, solid guys that can lock arms with you and walk life next to you. In college many guys start living life "around" other guys, but never with them. I would encourage you to find some guys that want to honor God with their lives. Seek to know them, and allow them to know you. As you get older, this becomes even more difficult, so learn early how critical this really is.
God's grace is deep. Some of my most profound realizations about the goodness of God came while I was in college. Growing up, I didn't have the slightest desire to truly finish anything I started. Why do you think I bounced around between so many jobs after I got out "on my own?" Given the decision, I would have picked doing something fun and active as opposed to anything that involved copious amounts of study. Yet, after I became a Christian, this changed.
Take advantage of your college years to dive deep in God's Word. Study it. Reflect on it. Memorize it. Ask someone to teach it to you. You are a good man, raised in a great family. Yet, you have so much to learn about the depths of the riches of God's love. Don't miss this opportunity.
Don't focus so much on "living your life" that you miss an education. I can definitely guarantee you that studying hard and trying to excel is important, but don't put in on a throne it doesn't belong. I have a few friends of mine who I've watched sadly do this exact thing. They've literally become robots. For all intents and purposes, their wives are basically single parents. I just pray that this doesn't happen in your home as well.
Take advantage of opportunities to "cut your teeth" leading. Go on mission trips where you can learn that God doesn't just speak English. Look at other cultures to understand what real poverty looks like. When you get to be my ripe old age, all these experiences will have shaped you in ways you can't even begin to imagine.
Above all else: All across this world, but definitely starting with you, in your home with your family, there is a desperate need for leadership that is Spirit-led. Believe me when I tell you that this world needs men who are under the authority of the Lord Jesus. Be purposeful in stopping to place your heart under His. Great leadership doesn't come from "technique-ing" people. It comes from wisdom and discernment that is God-given. So go to Him, and ask. He'll give it.
If I haven't told you recently, I believe in you. I'm proud of how far you've come. I look forward to watching God's shaping hand on your life. E-mail me, text me, call me; shoot, you can even come sit on my couch anytime if you'd like to discuss this further. I will always be here for you. More importantly, so will Jesus.
Walk in great grace, and speak with great power (Acts 4:33).
Arthur
Now I think I can sleep better knowing I got that off my chest.
No comments:
Post a Comment