A Surprise

So I'm driving home from work today, doing my normal commute, when out of nowhere this huge black SUV rides up so close to my rear that all I see are headlights.  Apparently, my going anywhere from 5-7 miles over the posted speed limit still isn't fast enough for this particular individual, who then proceeds to swerve into the oncoming traffic lane, flying by me doing at least 70 in a 55.  Though, to her credit, she slows enough to keep pace with me just long enough to give me the finger, as well as a few made-up gesticulations of her own, etc etc.  As if all this isn't enough, as metaphorical icing on my commuting cake, when she promptly cuts me off (directly ahead of me now, keep in mind)...her license plate reads:

BLVNHIM

All sarcasm aside (at least for this sentence) for those possibly not familiar with deciphering American license plate jargon, that particular masterpiece is meant to be read "Believe in Him."  Herein lies my problem. 

So, this person is claiming to be a Christian?  This young lady is telling the world (at least the world directly behind her in traffic) that she is "BLV'ing N HIM" yet her actions to me on the way home prove drastically otherwise.  

Hypocrisy is nothing new to the Church.  It bleeds like a Sharpie through an unsuspecting shirt pocket through much of the NT.  In fact, many of Paul's most important addresses to his early congregation center around this issue.  Paul writes his letter to the Galatians because they are abandoning their authentic faith in Christ under the influence of the Judaizers.  Having begun with the "grace of Christ," they are now "turning to a different gospel" (1:6 NIV).  Having started with the Spirit, they are living by "human effort" (3:3).

True faith is not "easy believism"--a superficial acknowledgment that the Gospel is true without any personal commitment.  Paul later writes: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (2:20).  Genuine faith, then, involves a comprehensive investment of oneself in Christ.  My traffic surprise on the way home this afternoon just serves to "drive home" this very important point...

A Lesson in Patience

So excited today...after another three weeks of waiting, today was finally to be the day when my wife and I found out the gender of our new arrival (due to be here January 15, 2012 give-or-take).  We get to her Dr.'s office, and after a good forty-five minutes of ultrasound, they determined that the wee one was "too mobile" to make any clear determination on the gender, and we ended up having to re-schedule yet again.

Keep in mind, this was the third time in this pregnancy that this had happened to us.  I was frustrated, to say the least.  My boss was bending over backwards with my work schedule, especially since as of last Friday we are down to one car for the whole family.  I worked it out to where I can finally be there with my wife on one of her Dr. visits (a rare thing in Retail, even more so now that my store is officially in "Holiday Prep Mode") only to be told to... wait.

Waiting.  Patience.  Delayed gratification.  It has always been said that "patience is a virtue," yet I have never met a person on this planet who enjoys being stuck in a long check-out line at the store.  I have never seen a military wife ecstatic when she hears that her husband will not be back in the States for another year (or more, depending on the conflict).  The funny thing is, Scripture tells us that Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit.  Like it or not, God expects us, those who claim to be "little Christ's," to be patient...or at the least, to learn to develop the habit.

Strangely, spending my time writing about the Christian faith makes it no easier.  A friend once commented about Christians in general, "If you repeat anything to yourself often enough, you can believe it."  Is that what I do?  I go over and over the words, trying to get them just right.  But how can I know whether I truly believe them or am just repeating them to myself, like a telephone solicitor rehearsing a sales pitch?

George Everett Ross makes this same point, though in different words:

 "I have served in the ministry thirty years, almost thirty-one.  I have come to understand that there are two kinds of faith.  One says if and the other says though.  One says if:  "If everything goes well, if my life is prosperous, if I'm happy, if no one I love dies, if I'm successful, then I will believe in God and say my prayers and go to the church and give what I can afford."  The other says though: though the cause of evil prosper, though I sweat in Gethsemane, though I must drink my cup at Calvary--nevertheless, precisely then, I will trust the Lord who made me.  So Job cries: 'Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.' "

May we remember to be a patient people.  After all, the Lord is definitely that way with me, on an almost daily basis...

My Top Five "B" Movies of All Time

Greetings, all:

Per a good friend's suggestion, the following are what I consider in my humble opinion to be the five greatest "B" movies of all time (in no particular order).  Anyone who knows me well knows I adore all aspects of film and cinema, and will watch dang near anything I can get my eyes on (barring anything obscene, of course).  So without further ramblings, to my List we go:

No. 5:  "House of the Dead" (2003)

Why, Uwe Boll, why?!  An old friend and college room-mate of mine first introduced me to this celluloid disgrace, and I've regretted it ever since.  I can think of diseases I'd happily contract rather than being forced to watch this absolute piece of refuse.  No, really, it is THAT bad.  Acting?  My two-year-old has better acting skills...heck, Keanu Reeves from 1991 has better acting skills!  Plot?  Will not even go there.  Special effects?  Sure, if you like actual mid-90's video game footage spliced hand-in-hand during the movie because the so-called "writers" had a script with more holes than Swiss Cheese.  Bottom line:  AVOID AT ALL COSTS.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  Brings us to:

No. 4:  "The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies" (1964)

One of the most famous "B" movies ever made, mainly because of its legendary title, which is arguably the best thing about it. Look, this movie is bad, no doubt about it... but the question that should be asked obviously is, is this movie so bad, it's actually good?  This guy's opinion?  A resounding yes!

Ray Dennis Steckler lies somewhere between Ed Wood, Jr and Russ Meyer for me. Wood made laughably bad genre movies that have continued to fascinate because of their campy silliness. His movies are still tons of fun all these years later. Russ Meyer was certainly not incompetent, but he created bizarre movies populated with strange, sex obsessed characters, who found themselves involved in twisted, often indescribable plots spouting absolutely insane dialogue.  Mercifully, this film is right in the middle of such a grey area, so to speak.  Definitely worth a look...next up would be:

No. 3:  "Simon Sez" (1999)

Dennis Rodman in the lead role.  Dane Cook in the lead supporting role.  I think I just contracted some rare form of terminal illness just by having to type those last two sentences.  Not even worth my time, let alone any of yours.  In at the number Two spot is:

No. 2: "Evil Brain from Outer Space" (made-for-TV, 1965)

This movie seems to be edited together from episodes of a serial -- it jumps from sub-plot to sub-plot, and introduces a whole raft of new characters without developing any of them. It's Shin-Toho Studio's entry in the Superheroes from Space genre, which puts it side-by-side with those MST3K staples, "Invasion of the Neptune Men" and "Prince of Space".

Plot is thinner than Donald Trump's toupee, characters are laughable at best, dialog is instantly cheese due to this being a Japanese import.  Watch this with English dubbing, of course, to get the best effect.  If you really, truly want to waste a couple hours of your existence on this planet, I can think of no better way.  Finally, the creme de la creme of "B" movies, the one I humbly believe put them on the map, the Grandaddy of them all...drum roll please...

No. 1:  "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1959)

This is very much one of those "it's so bad, it's good" scenarios.  Again, I first discovered this gem of cinema history while in my dorm with one of my best friends...we bought a (rare) DVD copy out of the fifty-cent bin at one of our local Dollar stores around that year's Halloween.  We were wanting to keep in the spirit (see what I did there?) of the Season, and I happened to notice that it was Bela Lugosi in the lead role.  However, it wasn't until we got back home that I realized upon closer inspection of the back cover that it actually said "Almost Starring Bela Lugosi."  In what is now one of the most infamous moves in all of film editing, because Lugosi passed away before true production could be completed, the film crew used the same stock footage of him throughout the entire movie.  Yes, you read that right...  I've never had so much fun with a B movie, before or since.  Poor production values, terrible acting, worse directing, and film dialog that must be heard to be believed all combine to make this, in my opinion, the absolute best of the worst movies ever made.  As an example of just how bad the production value is, in a scene where the alien UFO's are descending to invade Earth, you can literally see the fishing line the Gaffer is holding, which in turn is holding up the (and I swear I am not making this up) automobile hubcaps that are the "UFO's".  Simply (albeit unintentionally) brilliant!

Trust me, there is so much more I could list about "Plan 9" that it truly deserves it's own blog...just know that this is a must-see in B movie history, and it deserves and to this day earns its place atop my list of the "Worst of the Worst".

True Peace!

In light of most recent events (read: the East Coast earth-shaker that took place around lunchtime today) I figured now would be as good a time as any to put some of my thoughts on paper (digital though it may be) concerning our concept of Peace.  As I've mentioned earlier, in our Small Group class at church we're working through an amazing book; namely, Ann Spangler's Praying the Names of God.  This week's Name is Yahweh Shalom, "The Lord is Peace" taken from Judges 6, the Biblical tale of Gideon.

"Peace" is a word that obviously carries around a lot of weight these days, especially in light of recent world events.  We all long for peace, but strangely enough the ancient Hebrew word here (shalom) means so much more than the absence of outward conflict or the state of reaching inner calm.  For one thing, it reminds us that the peace we all long for comes only from God.  True shalom cannot be found in material possessions, job security, off-shore bank accounts, or a good education.  If we are not careful, the blessings we crave can even turn into desires in disguise, robbing us of the peace we look for to begin with.

Friends, true peace, true shalom can only be found in the presence of the living God.  When our lives are shattered, nothing matters more than to be reconciled to God, Who alone can restore our broken relationship with Himself.  The great news of the Gospel is that God not only allows such restoration but that He seeks us when we are lost (cf. Luke 15:3-7). 











 

Musings

Just sitting here, hiding out in the break room at work before clocking in for the day.  One of my classmates in our Small Group at church said something this past week that's been stuck in my head ever since...are we "on purpose" for God?  As Philip Yancey puts so well, do we "step into the stream of His consciousness?"  I had to think about that long and hard...

It's an old saying now, almost a cliche, but still true...it's been said that "You (we) may be the only Bible some people will ever see."  That's something I have to remind myself of almost on a daily basis.  As I go about my day, as I perform my "same old routine" at work, as I'm stuck in commuter traffic driving on the way home, even as I interact and play with my two-year-old...am I letting my Light so shine?  Are you?...